Q: One of our Forum members arrives at the meeting, and he doesn’t prepare in advance. He’s usually filling out his Update Form while other people are talking. It’s irritating and disrespectful! What do we do?
– Anonymous
A: Thanks for your question. I completely understand how this could irritate the rest of the members! It’s rude and disrespectful. Plus, if he’s filling out his form during other members’ updates, he can’t listen to what anyone else is saying.
My style as a Sherpa is not to confront someone for the sake of embarrassing them, so I would talk to him one-on-one outside of a meeting. I’d ask him if he knows he’s giving his fellow members the idea that Forum isn’t a priority for him, and that ignoring other people’s updates so he can prepare his own is inconsiderate.
If his behavior doesn’t improve, or if he doesn’t agree that his lack of preparation is a problem, you’ll have to bring the issue to the Forum. Here are three different approaches:
1. Add it to the next meeting agenda and have an open and constructive discussion about it.
2. As part of the standard Issues Clearing process, bring up your concerns in the next Forum meeting.
3. [Most confrontational] The Moderator pauses the Updates and asks everyone to sit in silence until this member has completed his form. Although it’s a waste of time for everyone, it might underscore the importance of preparing before meetings.
As I mentioned, I don’t like shaming anyone or bringing confrontation into the Forum setting, so I would only use the third idea as a last resort.
If this still doesn’t correct the problem, there are more extreme measures you can take, such as fines, the Member Value Assessment, or possible removal from the Forum. Please contact elena@forumsherpa.com if you’d like more guidance on these more extreme options.
– Ellie